The emotional and physical strains of arthritis can change many aspects of life, including intimate relationships.
Chronic illness can add to the usual stresses of marriage, such as
money, careers and parenting. And fear of pain, or fear of causing
pain, can cause a couple to grow apart physically.
But you and your partner can maintain a close, loving relationship and a healthy, satisfying sex life, according to the Arthritis Foundation.
Staying intimate
Clear and constant communication is the key to maintaining intimacy.
Talking with one another can help you work through emotions such as
fear, denial, anger, frustration and sadness. It can reawaken physical
needs and desires and help you express them.
The Arthritis Foundation offers the following suggestions for staying intimate:
To preserve emotional intimacy,
try to accept the realities of arthritis, educate yourselves about the
disease and keep a positive attitude. Finding things that you still
enjoy doing together can help compensate for other losses and keep you
close.
To foster physical intimacy, adapt and don't stop
looking for ways to express yourselves sexually. Be patient and
creative, and don't expect perfection or even sexual intercourse from
every intimate encounter. Remember that simply touching each other
helps create intimacy. A massage, kissing or just holding hands can be
romantic.
Managing symptoms
Arthritis pain and
fatigue can sabotage your sex life. Mental health issues such as
depression and negative body image can interfere with physical intimacy too. Here are some tips for coping with these issues:
Pain. If you're in so much pain that sex seems out of
the question, see your doctor. Your treatment plan may need to be
modified. Your doctor also may be able to provide information about
lovemaking positions to ease pain. Also, take your pain medication so that
it peaks at a time you anticipate a sexual encounter. Women who
experience vaginal dryness can purchase over-the-counter lubricants.
Meanwhile, try with your partner to give—and to get—a clear
understanding of what feels good and what causes discomfort. Take the
time to touch and explore each other's bodies and ask questions.
Fatigue.
Planning ahead can help you save your energy. Make "dates" for
lovemaking and create a relaxing atmosphere. Don't try to have sex when
you are tired.
Mental health. If you have lost interest
in sex because you are depressed, talk with your doctor. Counseling or
medication may help. To overcome worries about unattractiveness or
undesirability, look for ways to feel good and enjoy your body. The
better you feel about yourself, the more attractive you'll be to
others. Let go of assumptions that you are unlovable or undeserving of
satisfaction.
Talk with your doctor
It's also a good idea to talk with your doctor about any sexual problems you're having. He or she may be able to help.
For example, if you are taking medications for your arthritis, you may
experience side effects such as sexual difficulties and disinterest.
Don't assume you have to live with this. Review your medications with
your doctor, and be direct and specific about what you're experiencing.
Reviewed 8/21/2024